by Scott Howard | Nov 14, 2011 | Really? The Personal ScLoHo
I wonder if teenage rebellion has been around forever?
December 11, 1972 is when I officially became a teen.
For some reason I thought that the 1960’s or 1950’s were the decades that it all started.
I was wrong.
It has been a part of the growing process since the beginning of time.
Having been a Dad to 3 plus Stepdad to 2 more, I’ve learned that when those times come, hang on.
Hold your ground as a parent, but let them spread their wings too.
You don’t want to become their BFF (Best Friend Forever).
They need a grown up to be the support and foundation.
One day, they will look at you with fresh eyes and you will not be the “scum of the earth that ruined their life”.
You’ll be the grandparent, or the adviser, or parent/adult/friend that loves them despite all their screw ups and they will love you back despite all your screw ups too.
Now there are no guarantees that they will stop rebelling as some never do, but it’s a two-way street and if you try and hold them too close, they’ll always try and break free.
For some that rebellion starts at age 2… for some it ends at age 50…
But even in those darkest hours, I’ve discovered while they won’t say it to your face, they still love you and want you as Mom or Dad.
by Scott Howard | Nov 3, 2011 | Really? The Personal ScLoHo
November 3rd, 1930.
29 years before I was born, Donald Fredrick Howard was born in Maine. The 2nd son and third of four children to my grandparents whom I never met because they both passed away before I was born.
In 1998, he passed away after a short battle with cancer. He was 67 at the time.
In those 37 years that he was my Dad, he had his principles. And just like the rest of us, he made his mistakes. But he is remembered more for the impact on the lives of those who knew him.
He was patriotic. He served in the Navy. He took me to parades on Memorial Day and the 4th of July and passed along a respect for those who served and for the country that they served.
I’m not sure what he would say exactly if he saw the mess we are in today.
I know that he would be disgusted by the self-serving, lying politicians that are either in office right now, or who want to be in office.
And I echo those sentiments.
I realize that there are plenty of sincere people wanting to serve as elected officials. But it’s hard to know who is who sometimes.
All we want is truth with a minimum of distortion.
Different points of view are fine, different solutions are fine, but the spin on the truth that occurs on all levels of politics from my city to my country and around the world…
Please stop.
Next week we will have elections in my city for Mayor and other city and county offices.
The sad fact is that so many people who have the power to elect the office holders for the next four years know very little about the candidates, what the role of each office has, and how it all fits together. It is the political advertising, and to a lesser extent, debates and commentary that will persuade the voters to select one candidate over another.
I’ve only done slightly better. I have done a decent job of paying attention to all of my choices for Mayor and have spoken with 2 of the 3 who will be on the ballot next week.
I do my best to listen to as many sides of an issue as I can find and look for nuggets of truth.
There are two other notable birthdays later this month. On November 16th my friend Ron turns 70. He is surprised to have lived this long as he has now outlived his parents.
The day before, November 15th, my son Jon will be celebrating his 27th birthday, which I find hard to believe.
The future for me, my kids and their kids is in all of our hands. Each of us has an impact on others.
Seek truth in your lives for everyone’s sake.
(Picture was taken when I was 7 years old with my Dad)
by Scott Howard | Oct 26, 2011 | Really? The Personal ScLoHo
From the 2011 ScLoHo archives:
Before the year is over, I’ll be 52 years old.
I still feel like a kid.
And I feel like an adult too.
My wife Kathy and I were talking last weekend about “stuff”, nothing too heavy, but I realized how much fun we have as empty nesters.
And I believe I understand my parents much better now too.
Although my Dad died in 1998 and my Mom died in 2001, it wasn’t the last few years of their lives I think about, it’s the time before those last few years.
When I was 26 and was busy as a parent with 3 preschoolers, I sometimes felt overwhelmed by my immediate family of 5 and my parents were a couple hundred miles away. I really didn’t know the details of their lives.
But knowing who they were, with the combination of humor, fun and responsibility that they lived, I can now picture in my mind that they went through many of the same things I do now.
It’s a combination of being proud of your kids, their spouses, their growing families and lives, mixed with concern that their lives will be also filled with challenges that they will have to figure out and emerge from.
I understand the freedom they must have felt too. I never really knew what my parents did in their 50’s except for a few vacations and some health issues that came up.
But I understand now.
And one day when my kids kids are off on their own, I bet they’ll have that same understanding of their previous generation (their parents).
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