It was 6 years ago that I wrote this on one of my original blogs and it still applies:
One thing you have to do is learn the language that your partner speaks. My wife and I both speak English, but it goes deeper than that. When she says, “The trash in the kitchen needs taking out”, I can agree and do nothing, and then be accused of not listening, being an uncaring husband, etc.
I have learned that when she says that, it means she wants me to take action. There are also differences in generations in the way we use language. My son is a bit of a gamer. So when I’ve heard him over the years talk about “Cheat Codes”, I know that it isn’t automatically something illegal, or immoral.
I stumbled across this recently:
I often remember times when I played video games and had cheat codes which made winning the game faster and easier. I have wished innumerable times to have cheat codes for winning a marriage, to have cheat codes for a happy marriage.
Of course I know that there are no short cuts to a happy marriage. The basics steps of “How to have a happy marriage” have to be applied. But, even then, wouldn’t it be great if there were some tips which made having a happy married life easier; Tips which are easy to implement and yet give tremendous results.
I didn’t have cheat codes for a happy marriage when I got married. But I sure found them later on while living the marriage. These obviously do not eliminate the basics – to love, to communicate, to laugh, to forgive etc. But they do increase chances of a happy married life drastically. And most importantly, they work.