family. relationships | The Genuine ScLoHo aka Scott Howard

6 down, 6 to go…

by Scott Howard | Jul 4, 2015 | Really? The Personal ScLoHo

I wrote these words on Wednesday night, the first of July but saved them for the weekend.

We have wrapped up 6 months of 2015 with less than 6 months until 2016 and all around me the world is changing.

I’m not talking about the political world, cultural world or any of those things that we are all exposed to.

I’m thinking about the lives of friends and family. Changes that were not expected when we welcomed the New Year, 6 short months ago.

Due to the connected world we live in with the internet, there are relatives that I have not seen in ages that I’ve reconnected with. And some of them have had some tremendous changes.

On my Mom’s side of the family is her older brother, my Uncle Bill. He is the only living Uncle I have left. 5 months ago my cousin Susan’s life ended due to cancer. Shortly after, it was discovered that Aunt Maria also had cancer and soon she was gone too. Susan left behind a husband and two adult kids. Uncle Bill and Aunt Maria also have two other daughters Julie and Karla who with their husbands are missing the ability to talk to their Mom or sister.

My wife Kathy and I were both married previously and had our kids with our 1st spouses. This spring we got word that Kathy’s first husband died suddenly. Dwight and I became friends when Kathy and I were dating. His funeral was the last one I’ve been to. My step-kids, Ian and Abby lost their dad this spring.

In the past few days another cousin, Brenda from my Dad’s side of the family buried her oldest son, Sam. Brenda is married to a Scott and they have another son Ben too. She has gone thru the cancer journey herself and is doing well on that front. What struck me when I heard the news from Brenda of her son’s passing was an incident that occurred in the 1970’s.

Brenda had a brother Steve who died in a car accident. The funeral for Steve was the first funeral I attended and about might be one of the last times I saw her face to face even though I saw her parents a few times later in life.

One more passing of note. We have a couple of good friends, Bob & Sherrie. I’ve known them for 15 years because they were my wife’s friends. Sherrie and my wife have known each other since college days. They had to put their dog down this past week. As many of us who have pets, they become a part of the family too. And when their lives end, we grieve.

While all of this sounds like a list of losses, and it is for those who are missing their loved ones, their are other changes that we were not expecting including my son and his wife starting a new chapter in South Carolina with a wonderful career opportunity for her and lots of promising employment opportunities for Josh and what looks like a fantastic place to live. That was May.

A month later, we are saying good bye for now to my daughter Rachael and her husband and two little ones. They too are starting a new chapter in a beautiful part of the country in the opposite direction, Colorado.

There are other family members who are in the midst of changes too and we keep each and every one in our hearts, minds and prayers.

Thank goodness for free long distance, the connectivity of social media and the internet to help us communicate over the miles.

This weekend, the 4th of July weekend, the weekend we as a country celebrate and the founding of the United States back in 1776 with the signing of the Declaration of Independence from England, this is a weekend that is also filled with lots and lots of reflections as people all around you are adjusting to what ever changes have taken place in their lives this year.

May you cherish the relationships and celebrate safely as we move forward with the next 6 months of 2015.

Friday Randomness

by Scott Howard | Jun 19, 2015 | Really? The Personal ScLoHo

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I would update my series on Advertising with WOWO Radio that I first shared in February. It’s coming, I assure you.

However this month I have been writing articles that delve into the personal side more frequently. That’s fine, I have no one to answer to when it comes to what I write, publish or when. The “editorial calendar” for this website/blog is in my head. So be patient and I’ll start that series next week.

Recently I have had a couple of my adult kids move out of state and I’ve mentioned this as a part of spreading wings. I am also connecting with people from my past (and present) online and last year found an old childhood friend who was influential in my early teens in developing an interest in radio broadcasting. Dave was more of an engineer kind of guy, while I was interested in being a radio personality, which is how I began my venture into broadcasting.

Dave sent me a brief note on LinkedIN asking how things were going. Now I have not seen or spoken with Dave in decades. We are both in our 50’s now and so it has been 30+ years probably since we saw each other. But that is part of the magic of this internet connected world.

Dave is in California and works in cyber security and related stuff. When I told him about my kids moving out of state and stuff, his reply, “You are a lucky man.”

It’s that kind of perspective that we sometimes need.

When we are feeling a little down or have mixed emotions about events, there are others who see what we have instead of what we don’t have and can show us our blessings with a few simple words.

Thanks Dave.

Spreading Wings

by Scott Howard | Jun 13, 2015 | Really? The Personal ScLoHo

Family and Friends.

You chose your friends and your family, well hopefully you are friends with them too.

I am amazed at life and the growing up process that I see around me.

Take for example this picture from a few years ago snapped a few summers ago in downtown Fort Wayne. You’ve got my two daughters, a son in law, daughter in law, my son and myself all acting normal.

Missing from the picture are my wife who took the picture and step kids who were not with us that night.

Growing up as an only child of two parents who stayed together till death, I never imagined the way things have gone. For myself having 3 kids was a culture shock. Divorce and remarriage was foreign to me too, but having been there, survived and thrived has been a blessing.

Over the years we have seen the family grow and grow and grow with marriage and babies. 8 of those grandkids in total at the moment. The oldest will be 17 this summer and the youngest is less than a year old as I write this.

Unlike the posts people put on Facebook about how wonderful their life is, we have had our ups and downs. But we have perspective and are always moving forward, even if you have to take a step back every once in awhile.

I titled this article spreading wings for a couple of reasons. The first is because I have seen two of my kids and their spouses move from Indiana. Last month Josh and his wife took a fantastic opportunity in South Carolina. This month Rachael and her husband are moving their family to Colorado. Big changes for all. This weekend we had a going away gathering for Rachael and the gang. Last month we spent time with Josh and Madeline before they packed up.

As a Dad and parent, I have mixed emotions about all of this. I am very proud of all of them and I understand exactly the concept of moving away to follow dreams. I did it when I was in my 20’s too. Yet the other side is missing them and the grandkids. Being several hours away means a visit takes planning and we don’t have a plan yet. But we will.

Spreading wings also refers to growing up and stepping out of comfort zones. My daughter Tiffany is in the midst of that these days and while all the steps to her plan are not yet set, I have confidence that she will continue to grow.

I urge you to look at life with amazement and wonder too. Spread those wings, step out and do the hard stuff, and as I said the other day cherish your people, family and friends.

Me and Oliver June 2015

Random Reflections and an Invite

by Scott Howard | May 15, 2015 | Really? The Personal ScLoHo

First the invite.

Saturday is the Great American Cleanup, a national day of spring cleaning. For the 3rd year a group of us from Holy Cross Lutheran are going to be working for a few hours in the Frances Slocum neighborhood of Fort Wayne, Indiana.

You are welcome to join us. 8:45 at Klug Park, then we will form a couple of teams to clean up and return to the park by noon for a hot dog lunch.

There are actually two groups meeting at the park. The Holy Cross team will be at the Southeast corner, at the top of the hill. Contact me for info.

The other reflections have to do with an unexpected family event that occurred this month.

On Wednesday May 6th, my wife and I got word that her 1st husband had died. Dwight Troue was his name and he was in decent health everyone thought. He lived in nearby Huntington, Indiana and went for a bike ride and crashed into some mailboxes. It is believed that his heart gave out and he lost control of his bicycle.

That night, my stepdaughter Abby and her husband and two little boys came to town to be with us from Iowa. We gathered with my stepson Ian and oldest grandson Jake, told stories and started preparing for a funeral. I actually had very little except a small supporting role to play.

Other family pitched in, as my daughter Rachael and family drove up to babysit at our home.

Dwight was just 66 and besides being the dad to my step-kids, he was also a friend, despite the potential awkward relationship due to us both having been married to the same woman. Dwight and I attended kids events together and both my wife and I have strived to have decent relationships with our ex’s. It works better for all involved including the kids.