Spreading Wings

by Scott Howard | Jun 13, 2015 | Really? The Personal ScLoHo

Family and Friends.

You chose your friends and your family, well hopefully you are friends with them too.

I am amazed at life and the growing up process that I see around me.

Take for example this picture from a few years ago snapped a few summers ago in downtown Fort Wayne.  You’ve got my two daughters, a son in law, daughter in law, my son and myself all acting normal.

Missing from the picture are my wife who took the picture and step kids who were not with us that night.

Growing up as an only child of two parents who stayed together till death, I never imagined the way things have gone.  For myself having 3 kids was a culture shock.  Divorce and remarriage was foreign to me too, but having been there, survived and thrived has been a blessing.

Over the years we have seen the family grow and grow and grow with marriage and babies. 8 of those grandkids in total at the moment. The oldest will be 17 this summer and the youngest is less than a year old as I write this.

Unlike the posts people put on Facebook about how wonderful their life is, we have had our ups and downs.  But we have perspective and are always moving forward, even if you have to take a step back every once in awhile.

I titled this article spreading wings for a couple of reasons.  The first is because I have seen two of my kids and their spouses move from Indiana.  Last month Josh and his wife took a fantastic opportunity in South Carolina.  This month Rachael and her husband are moving their family to Colorado.  Big changes for all.  This weekend we had a going away gathering for Rachael and the gang.  Last month we spent time with Josh and Madeline before they packed up.

As a Dad and parent, I have mixed emotions about all of this.  I am very proud of all of them and I understand exactly the concept of moving away to follow dreams.  I did it when I was in my 20’s too.  Yet the other side is missing them and the grandkids.  Being several hours away means a visit takes planning and we don’t have a plan yet.  But we will.

Spreading wings also refers to growing up and stepping out of comfort zones.  My daughter Tiffany is in the midst of that these days and while all the steps to her plan are not yet set, I have confidence that she will continue to grow.

I urge you to look at life with amazement and wonder too.  Spread those wings, step out and do the hard stuff, and as I said the other day cherish your people, family and friends.

Me and Oliver June 2015

Random Reflections and an Invite

by Scott Howard | May 15, 2015 | Really? The Personal ScLoHo

First the invite.

Saturday is the Great American Cleanup, a national day of spring cleaning.  For the 3rd year a group of us from Holy Cross Lutheran are going to be working for a few hours in the Frances Slocum neighborhood of Fort Wayne, Indiana.

You are welcome to join us.  8:45 at Klug Park, then we will form a couple of teams to clean up  and return to the park by noon for a hot dog lunch.

There are actually two groups meeting at the park.  The Holy Cross team will be at the Southeast corner, at the top of the hill.  Contact me for info.

The other reflections have to do with an unexpected family event that occurred this month.

On Wednesday May 6th, my wife and I got word that her 1st husband  had died.  Dwight Troue was his name and he was in decent health everyone thought.  He lived in nearby Huntington, Indiana and went for a bike ride and crashed into some mailboxes.  It is believed that his heart gave out and he lost control of his bicycle.

That night, my stepdaughter Abby and her husband and two little boys came to town to be with us from Iowa.  We gathered with my stepson Ian and oldest grandson Jake, told stories and started preparing for a funeral.  I actually had very little except a small supporting role to play.

Other family pitched in, as my daughter Rachael and family drove up to babysit at our home.

Dwight was just 66 and besides being the dad to my step-kids, he was also a friend, despite the potential awkward relationship due to us both having been married to the same woman.  Dwight and I attended kids events together and both my wife and I have strived to have decent relationships with our ex’s.  It works better for all involved including the kids.

Abby & her Dad at her wedding doing the Father/Daughter dance

It seems like just a few years ago that my own parents passed away and it puts a different perspective on your life.

Make the most of it.  Connect with others.  Help others.  And like I said at the beginning, you can join us Saturday and do just that.

Cherish All The Relationships

by Scott Howard | Jan 31, 2015 | Really? The Personal ScLoHo

A couple of thoughts due to circumstances that have occurred this week.

Death or reminders of death of friends and family.

It keeps life in perspective, because one day each of us will reach the end of our lives on this planet.

I urge you to cherish all the relationships.  Be vocal about it too.  Tell people that you appreciate them, even if you don’t have a super close relationship with them.  Set aside the differences and rise above the division.

My Dad died of cancer when I was 38.  We only had a few months warning.  3 years later my Mom passed away suddenly from a heart attack.  Lives change when death touches us.

Thursday evening, I got word that an old friend of mine, Chris was back in the hospital for another round of chemo.  I spoke with his wife and gave me his cell phone which I called and left him a message.

Friday at lunch I gathered with about 20 friends of a man named Bob who passed away about a year ago.  Someone suggested that we be sure to tell others while they are still alive all the things we were saying about Bob.  I have a friend Sheryl who makes a point of doing that as part of her weekly routine.  Each of us should do that.

Right before heading to bed Friday night, I saw a couple of posts on Facebook that my cousin Suzy had passed away from cancer a couple days ago.  Suzy was about 7 months younger than me and as little kids we saw each other a bit until my Uncle Bill and Aunt Maria moved to New Jersey where Suzy and her two younger sisters, Julie and Karla grew up.

Uncle Bill, Grandma Mary, Aunt Maria, my Mom (Alice) and Suzy & Scotty 1964

Suzy left behind a husband Chris and two (adult) kids Dan and Ally.  In the picture below, we see Suzy on the far right along with her family. Sitting in front are my Aunt Maria and Uncle Bill and also in the picture is Julie and Karla with their husbands.

The Koenecke Clan from 2014

On my Dad’s side of the family, all of his siblings have passed away and there are a couple of cousins I stay in touch with via social media.  One of them, Brenda who is almost exactly a year younger than me has gone through her trials and tribulations with cancer too and is on the winning side.

Let me wrap this up simply with Cherish All The Relationships and Tell Them Too.