20 Years, One Day At A Time

I’m going to get personal this week.

I’m also going to weave some lessons for your business into this story.

Today, March 17th is not only St. Patty’s Day… This is also my wedding anniversary.

Number 20 for my wife Kathy and myself.

She selected this day because of her Irish family heritage and back in 2001, this was a Saturday and it all worked out.

Kathy and I were previously married to other people with who we had our kids, so when we married we both became step-parents.

I brought 13 years of previous marriage experience to this union, she brought 17 years worth, add those numbers up and you have 30 years.  Plus the 20 years we’ve been husband and wife… it would be really weird to say we have “50 years of marriage experience”.  Or would it be 70 years?

The past doesn’t really matter so I’m sticking with 20 years.

Time to sneak in a business tip,  The Number of Combined Years of Experience Your Team Doesn’t Matter Either.  I have heard ads talking about over 100 years of combined experience.  So what?  I only care that you know how to take care of my need today.

Which brings us to another item…

How do you stay married for 20 years? One day at a time.

Some things you plan in advance.  I have a budget, okay a spreadsheet with all the due dates and all that fun stuff that I create annually and make adjustments as needed.  You need to do that kind of thing too for your business including allowing for changes and the unexpected.

Some things you decide in the moment.  Hopefully not too many big, life changing things.  Kathy and I have learned to give ourselves 24 hours or more before we decide on big stuff when possible.  Do you and your business partners have a similar plan and action steps?

We enjoy our time together.  We genuinely have made a point to set aside time that is ours. Weekly Date Nights have been a ritual and over the years, we have changed things up and actually have a few choices on where to go for dinner, etc.  But it’s more than date night once a week.  We also enjoy our conversations and doing things together.  Before I move to the next item, let me ask you about this aspect of your business.

How is the culture at your business?  Do you and your team enjoy working together?  The company I work for recently addressed the culture issue and worked to improve it.  I’m not talking about hanging out with your team after hours, but that could be part of the culture you foster at your business.  I’m talking about the day to day stuff, during working hours.  Ask yourselves the tough questions so you can decide what to do to improve it.

Kathy and I also spend plenty of time apart. We both have our own interests.  Just because I’m into human relationship marketing, doesn’t mean she has to be into it too.  Her love of gardening is not mine.  We support each other’s interests that are not our own.

This “difference” actually works quite well.  If both of us were too alike, it would get boring and instead each of us has strengths that help the relationship.  Here’s an example:

Kathy dreads doing dishes, which in our house means loading and unloading the dishwasher and putting the clean dishes away.  Me… I don’t mind at all, so I will often keep an eye out for when that chore needs to be done and do it.  Some people are better at certain tasks than others and some people just don’t like to do certain items that have to be done.  In your business, I challenge you to ask everyone to name one or two things that they do in their jobs that they really don’t like to do.  Then make a list of those dreaded tasks and see if there is someone else who would like to do something on that list.

20 year ago, I was taking a break from the world of media, marketing, radio and advertising.  When I met Kathy, I was a thermoformer operator and she was wrapping up her education to become a nurse.

20 years ago we were using dial-up internet services, there were no social media platforms.  Not even MySpace was around in 2001.

I have people on my local advertising sales team that weren’t old enough to drive when Kathy and I got married 20 years ago.

As you look back at what you were doing 20 years ago, what has changed?  I’m not talking about just the past 12 months that we’ve lived thru with the changes due to COVID, I’m talking about that times 20!

3 more observations about 20 years of marriage that perhaps you can apply to your life and business:

Faith, Forgiveness and Humor.  Those three are big ones.  You need to include those in your life too, both professionally and personally.